As you watch Alex Honnold’s free solo ascent (rock climbing without any ropes or equipment) of the El Capitan in the documentary Free Solo, you may think to yourself: this guy is not normal. You might bite off all of your fingernails as you watch him pull up his body weight by his fingertips with nothing but air between him and the ground thousands of feet below. While watching Alex free solo climb El Capitan was the most thrilling part of the film, the most interesting part was watching Alex’s struggle between doing something he loved and being pressured into the life of a normal thirty year old.
Up until this point in his life, Alex has not lived like your average thirty-something year old. We discover that Alex has lived in a van for several years, washes his clothes between his toes while taking a shower, eats a pan of eggs straight off of a spatula, and does pull ups with his fingertips from a small board that is nailed to the top of his van. He is quiet, lanky, incredibly muscular, and yes, a little awkward. As Alex discovers from an MRI test, the poor man doesn’t even have a functioning amygdala. He lives for free solo climbing. As Alex’s mother says at some point in the film, (I’m paraphrasing here) “Alex feels most alive when he’s climbing.”
And then you have his girlfriend, Sanni, who is the exact opposite of Alex with her bubbly and spunky personality. While she garnered several eye rolls from me, it’s obvious that she loves Alex and wants to have a life with him. She feels this way despite Alex being honest with her that climbing comes first. Even though Sanni knows she’s second fiddle, she still attempts to introduce Alex into the normal American life. We see Sanni leading a befuddled Alex through the house they just bought in Las Vegas. Then we see Alex walking begrudgingly through a Home Depot looking at refrigerators that are way too small for the house they just bought. And finally, we see Alex holding his friend’s baby awkwardly and saying, “I’m feeling a lot of anxiety.” Clearly, the man feels out of place doing domestic, every day things that all of us begin to do in our thirties. It appears that Alex is struggling with the decision to live a somewhat more normal life that will make him less lonely (and probably more human), but will likely take away time from the one thing that makes him feel most alive.
In a way this poignant part of the film is a reenactment of what many thirty year olds go through. You live an exciting life in your twenties, then you turn thirty and you’re supposed to become an adult. What now? Should Alex, and the rest of us, accept this new way of life and stop pursuing our passions?
Initially I was going to say yes; it’s time to move on. At some point we have to say goodbye to some of the things we love in order to grow up. Our time spent on the football field, running track, painting, writing, etc., becomes silly and insignificant compared to paying bills, planning your 401k, and starting a family. As you turn thirty the wheel of life spins a little slower and we should be ok with that. Maybe we should trade what we love for what we have to do, because, well, that’s just what people do. Perhaps in your thirties it’s time to hang up the cleats, put up your paint brush, tell the band you don’t have time anymore, give a big sigh and come to terms with the reality that what once made you feel alive isn’t your life anymore.
Well…FUCK that.
Yep, I’m giving a big middle finger to that thought. Actually I have tiny hands, so it’s a little middle finger, but you get the point. I can’t believe I was going to write some bullshit like that. The truth is, as we turn thirty we are faced with more responsibilities and stress. Yes, we may have kids and careers that take up most of our time. Yes, we may have to come with terms with that fact that we’ll never make the USWNT, the Olympics, N.B.A., or sing in a sold out concert, but adulthood doesn’t mean you have to completely stop doing what you love. Continue to do whatever it is that makes you feel alive (as long as that something isn’t cocaine, or meth, or some other highly addictive substance).
So feel alive! Do whatever it is you want to do. Whether that’s taking your dog for a walk, playing with your kids, playing adult recreational sports, running, writing, acting, painting, skateboarding, making origami frogs…I don’t care. No matter how silly it is, doing what you love provides you an escape from this shit world. So do it. Never stop unless you want to. Be like Alex. I mean don’t go climbing up mountains without a damn rope, but have a little bit of his attitude. The day Alex falls (which we all know one day he will, I mean come on, it would be a little weird if the man died of cancer or of a heart attack), I doubt in the second before he dies he will regret climbing. Same goes for us. Don’t feel bad about making the decision to spend time on what you love, no matter how old you are or what responsibilities you may have. You won’t regret it.
Moody Newts Blog 